Anger in Marriage: Love’s Executioner

donald duck angry art movie cartoon

“How many times do I have to tell you I’m not angry, I’m not emotional, and that our marriage is just fine!?”

After fourteen years as a marriage “angerologist” here are some anecdotal observations about marital anger.

Men are afraid angry women will belittle, disrespect, or criticize them. Women are afraid angry men will kill them.

Men find female anger grating. Women find male anger terrifying.

An emotionally unavailable man triggers a woman’s anger. An angry woman triggers a man’s emotional unavailability.

A sexually unavailable woman triggers a man’s anger. An angry man triggers a women’s sexual unavailability.

Angry women will fume, nag, or explode. Angry men will fume, fume, fume, and then explode.

Men put more holes in walls than women.

Women buy shoes, clothes, and purses to soothe their anger. Men buy boats, motor homes, motorcycles, quads, jet skis, and guns to soothe their anger.

Men think the reasons behind female anger are petty. Women think, “Men don’t get it.”

Women speculate that the cause of male anger is his parents, his job, the economy, his ex, or his mental instability. Men say the cause of male anger is speculating women.

During a fight men get angry faster. After a fight women get over their anger faster.

During a fight women can remember details from offenses decades old. Before, during, and after a fight men can’t remember anything.

A woman says of her anger, “I’m just blowing off steam,” and of his anger, “He’s irrational.” A man says of his anger, “She made me angry,” and of her anger, “She’s got issues.”

No couple can resolve issues while angry; rationality goes out the window.No couple can live on rationality alone; well managed emotions make life better.

A woman unwilling to admit being angry says, “I’m hurt.” A man unwilling to admit being angry says, “I’m frustrated.”




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1 Comment

  1. Some Thoughts About Anger | Conflict Mediation Coach

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